DEAD WALTZING

Now kids, open your books to the chapter "Funny Madness" and be careful it doesn't jump out and bite your pretty faces off. Check this out:

Fucked up, but with a fashionable sense of humor, right? Don't worry, no one can actually play that shit. It wasn't meant to be played, it was meant to be funny for musicians as well as for the common, sensible man. I mean, I laughed. It's art even a computer can appreciate. It was written (drawn?) by John Arthur Stump, an erudite music fanatic (huge Beatles fan), who also composed music that could actually be played, but apparently his sense of humor got the better of him most of the time. Which I think is great. I mean a good, intelligent sense of humor is about as hard to find as compassion or real tits these days. We need more of John to go around. On second thought, nah: I hear he was pretty fat.

So anyway, there's a lot of confusion going on concerning this particular piece of music, “Faerie’s Aire and Death Waltz (from ‘A Tribute to Zdenko G. Fibich’)”. I know I am confused. Although everyone agrees that the John Stump thing cannot be played by any human, some claim that a simplified version of it is humanly achievable (as seen here), when in fact they are talking about a whole different piece of music also called "The Death Waltz"..and the name U.N. Owen was her? keeps popping up, which I think is a cartoon or fuck knows what. Go figure, don't wait for me.

But since this is mainly a music blog, then music you shall have. The second Death Waltz is also impossible to play if you're a silly human with a mere pair of hands. With just two hands you can play the simple version, like the guy with the pink monkey in the link above. That's cool too. But the really really fucked up version can only be played by a computer (with no hands!!) as you can see below:

I had to wipe this video clean before posting it, because Hiromi Uehara drooled all over it.

More about the life and times of John Arthur Stump here.